Responding to the Haters

I was recently confronted by a girl who used to be my childhood best friend. I had just bought a brand-new, sexy black ripped bodysuit, a gold 20-gauge nose hoop, eyelashes from Sephora, and a necklace, and what’s the first thing I do?

Obviously get dolled up to take hot selfies!

I love feeling myself. I love being confident in my body and in my looks. I love how high I’ve built my self-esteem, and I’m always grateful for the support I receive when I uh, break the ‘gram.

But after posting three fiery pictures of myself in my outfit on Snapchat, the girl (Katie), sent a very nasty, unwarranted message.

“you are so trashy what happened to you? seriously stop acting like an attention whore your parents raised you better than that”

I immediately typed a response, my fingers flying as I prepared to mentally dismantle her and her bullshit.

“Lmfao that’s precisely what someone with half of my intellect and who’s a covert misogynist would say! For your information, your two cents don’t pay my bills so you can keep your negativity to yourself, and with regard to being trashy…remind me who jumps around from relationship to relationship ever since you were eight years-old, literally? Nothing ‘happened’ to me, you stupid cunt. I’m not dependent on anyone, nor do I wish to be. My social media is MY social media, I post what I want. In fact, there are copious studies that show that selfies in fact are healthy for self-esteem. Maybe go suck some dick to pass the time, you seem stressed and need to shut the fuck up :///”

She replied again, this time unveiling her insecurities to the extreme (while sounding incoherent.)

“nope just seeing your disgusting snaps gross me the fuck out go wax your hairy nasty body and stop flaunting your ugly ass face and teeth and body all over and that’s funny I’m not a whore one bit.. last time we hungout you were all on that tinder app trying to fuck all these guys just trying to give you a heads up and let you know that your better then that and to stop taking such dirty picture which make you look like shit anyway to get attention bc all guys want to do is fuck you and bounce and don’t want to get to know you. you are what you sell hunny”

First of all, NEVER mention my parents to me while making a feeble effort to seem superior. Mama made and raised a bad bitch. Second of all, I’m bisexual, to counter her assumption about me wanting guys. I like men and women, and I don’t do everything for people’s attention. If I did, I honestly might care more about what I post on social media, because I know that people are very cautious to not upset others. But I don’t care about that. I do it for myself, and I know I’m not the only one who does. I’m blessing your feed. Be grateful.

Third of all, here’s my response.

“Lmfaooo that entire paragraph is a projection of your own subconscious insecurities, I’m laughing. You wanna call me ugly, and talk crap to me all you want, but at the end of the day, 1) you still look like an over fed Cabbage Patch Kid, and 2) I’m unbothered and I express true freedom of identity which is something that insecure, close minded cunts such as yourself don’t have the privilege of expressing! Additionally, I don’t have Tinder on my phone, and I think you’re very delusional since you told me I was the one who should go get guys instead of focusing on my ex whom I was in a toxic relationship with. Now please go eat out of your refrigerator and drive around in your putrid, orange Chevy. I’m done here.”

Katie didn’t have time to rouse up a pathetic answer because the bitch got BLOCK’T immediately after I sent that. Then, I put the convo up on my IG and Snap stories, censoring her so she wouldn’t be the identified recipient of consummate ridicule.

The responses I received from friends and from followers were incredible, and I just want to take a moment to write that I have immense love for every one of you.

One friend was horrified at what Katie had said to me, and showed pity for the poor, irrelevant girl. She eloquently wrote:

“Yo for real that’s so disgusting and I feel so bad for her. The fact that she felt the need to go out of her way to express rage about what you’re posting on your social media shows that she’s actually suffering from low self-esteem and image issues herself. I feel bad because everything she spews is so ingrained in how she was raised that it’s evident that any display of positive sexuality would be met with hatred and dismissal. Like I genuinely hope that she develops a woman-friendly attitude. Body positivity is so important, and the fact that she feels so obviously insecure when confronted with your photos really makes me feel bad. We’re all allowed to love and want to show off our bodies and the beauty of womanism is that if you don’t want to show yourself off, that’s okay, and if you do, that’s okay too! Part of de-sexualizing the human body is by showing it and it’s so important that people do what they feel comfortable with, but also accept that others are going to have a different level of comfort. I really hope she is able to find acceptance with herself and with her gender.”

The amount of times I screamed, “YESSSSS” when reading that was abundant.

Many girls and guys showed love and support. Especially after I showed some of them a picture of what Katie LOOKS like…

PSA yes, the comments are real.

“Yikes.jpg” (girl)

“Is that her boyfriend kissing her in her cover photo? Why does he look like her underage brother?” (girl)

“Oh my god, she looks like dumb white trash. Not surprised.” (girl)

“No way, is that actually her???!! How can you look like that and tell someone that actually looks hot that they look bad??? She’s only posted selfies and still didn’t have a good picture? I’m not one to be mean to girls, but the ugly in her sure shines through.” (girl)

“‘You look like an over fed cabbage patch kid’ I’m DONE. Ignore the haters, you’re beautiful in your own way. Let them continue to hate.” (girl)

“Bitch can’t even spell. You’re so complex and beautiful. She’s just basic. Hater. Insecure. Wants to console herself.” (boy)

“Her nose is ugly.” (boy)

“She looks like basic, white trash. Basic bitches don’t get how bad bitches work.” (boy)

“Definitely insecure.” (boy)

“This girl really dick riding hard rn hahaha. Especially her whole female body and hair argument, I hate that one. Like again, a woman’s body’s her own body, she should be able to grow her hair if she wants. I don’t understand how these bitches hate on other women like just because you’re afraid to break gender norms or are uncomfortable with them, don’t talk shit to other people. I hope she finds a mental counselor, she needs help. It’s crazy how close minded people are nowadays that they feel the need to chat other people and state their uninformed and unprogressive opinion. So many people just live in their own bubble and never understand what equality or respect means and it just doesn’t amount to anything. But I think we both know that there will always be people like that out there and don’t really let it mean anything to us–like my dad always says, if a fool thinks a pit is a well, let him fall in.” (boy)

One of my friends even sent me a seven-minute video of her erupting with laughter, her eyes streaming as she bawled with laughter when she saw Katie and emphasized that Katie had absolutely no RIGHT as a human being to say anything to me because she was so ordinary. No pass, no authority, no permission. She really should’ve stayed in her lane.

I also received amazing comments from people who refer to me as an inspiration, who feel like they want to come out of their shell more, and it made me want to send out a message for anyone seeking that type of comfort in spite of potential backlash.

Here’s my advice for all of you beautiful women and men.

Never let an irrelevant ass, negative ass, nothing ass, nobody ass hater bring you down. When people are pointlessly mean to you, it’s a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Directly. Keep being fierce and beauteous. Wave at the haters, and blow them kisses too. And keep supporting each other! Baddies support baddies.

To my haters: You need to learn that there is nothing wrong with being out of the ordinary, or choosing to express yourself uniquely. Stop being so afraid of personal expression just because you can’t bring yourself to do it, or don’t know how to express yourself. See, if I choose to be basic, I won’t become extraordinary. I’ll just be ordinary, in a safe zone, like you are. Which is fine, because as mentioned, different levels of comfort are perfectly okay. You know me, of course. I love living on the edge.

Honestly, I have love for my haters as well. Just like Rico Richie said, “If you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin!” Haters are a cute reminder that you’re shining. Their shade does not cover your light. It only illuminates their inner pain. It does nothing but dig a deeper hole in their own personal problems. Haters will always find something to pick on about you, but you either can ignore it, or put them in their place. Either works, so long as you don’t take their horrid, unconstructive, inauthentic criticism to heart. Keep doing you, my lovelies. I’m here for you, and thank you for being here for me.

2018, let’s get it.

 

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