I found this post while scrolling through my Instagram feed, and it moved me in a different way than I expected it to.
It reminded me of conditional and unconditional love and how each determine our success, our growth, and our inner fulfillment, respectively.
When you are in love…or better yet, are infatuated with someone, something, or the mere idea of either two, you develop an acute sense of dependence upon that person or thing because you’re attempting to create your own reality out of that love or infatuation. This is a truly exquisite thing that we all do. We weave narratives before even we even consciously think about bringing them to life.
But the danger lies in being too reliant on this beautiful, innocent realization.
Sometimes we lose ourselves. Maybe we pick someone to love who isn’t interested in making something more meaningful out of a relationship, or someone who plays games in a relationship to save themselves because they are hurting.
Sometimes we leech on people to compensate for the pain that we’re feeling. We don’t realize it in the moment, but when we’re alone we feel the emptiness. That sinking, anxiety-inducing feeling where every breath feels impossible. When you’re bloated from starving, or binging, when every thought begins to anchor you physically. So you feed and feed and feed off of other substances, and eventually, when the high fades and you seek a more physical thrill, you start to feed off of people. Burying your lips between theirs, only with the intention of abandoning them after your cravings are satisfied. Vanishing from their unsuspecting eye, saving yourself from feeling your heart push against your skin. Meanwhile, you’ve turned a human being into a victim, suffering from the trauma that’s swirling inside you.
What is truly meant for us will not merely rest on your skin and penetrate you like a mosquito, leaving you irritated, itching. What is truly meant for you will require effort from both sides. It will not only brush against the surface, but will make room in your soul just as much as you make room for it. You will not have to beg for it to come to you; it will. Likewise, you will never have to beg for it to say; it will.
And when you find that, the feeling will encompass you and change you in ways that will help you understand yourself, and love yourself. You will not view yourself as an enemy. You will realize that what is meant for you, what you truly deserve is something more than what anyone else can ever tell you. It is something that will make you…