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November 2017

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Hello November,

So far, you have been one nuisance of a month. I don’t know how to feel about you, but I know I’ve been feeling down lately ever since you arrived. I’ve come to embrace the cold in more ways than the physical. Perhaps I’ll try to immerse myself in you. Maybe it’s because your own name begins with “No” that makes me automatically done with the bullshit. Or the fact that “novem”, the Latin number 9, is one of my unlucky numbers and I’m bitter about that. Or maybe I’m finally feeling developmental growing pains from being put into shitty situations.

I’m going to try and keep my body as fit as possible during this month, for my own sake. I’m also going to keep volunteering this month, and I’ve signed up to paint a mural for my school.

Hate fuels productivity.

The goal this month is constant immersion.

 

October 2017

“One who reveals your faults to you like a mirror is your true friend, and one who flatters you and covers up your faults is your enemy.”

October is my favorite month of the year because it is my birth month, and it is the month that Halloween takes place. But this month is also Muharram, the month where Muslims mourn the tragic martyrdom of Hazrat Imam Hussain, grandson of the Prophet (PBUH). It is during this month of fright and fun that we must also remember that this is a time of resistance. Resistance to tyranny, resistance to hatred, and resistance to greed and selfishness. Remember to stay close to your family this month. Be honest in your words and in your actions. Love your imperfections, take notice of your faults. We are naturally imperfect creatures, and it’s okay to take time to understand that we may not be perfect. That is part of self-honesty. Refrain from bottling and internalizing your pain. Part of resistence is about releasing the parts of yourself that you need to in order to be a friend to yourself, and a better friend to others as well. Cherish your inner and outer connections. Take care of your health. And remember to be patient, and stay committed to your work. Have a blessed month!

 

 

September 2017

 

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September is a somber transition where many may feel depressed or anxious about the weather becoming more bitter, the branches bending over and handing the fruits of the final days of summer in your hand. This is a time of year where I personally don’t know where to turn my focus. It’s a month where I feel like I lose my confidence and am turning toward other sources for immediate gratification.  I start to lean into my depression as hours of sunlight diminish and I’m left to myself, isolated yet hungry for comfort.

For those unaware, September is Suicide Prevention Month. I want to remind you all to be good to each other, please be kind. As the month progresses you may have moments where you feel like you’re especially emotional and may react strongly to things that normally don’t affect you. Maybe you’re even motivated to accomplish something, but can’t push yourself to do it. This month, be aware of what your goals are and be even more astute to those around you. Start taking yourself seriously, and watch the fruits of your labor prosper as we welcome the beauty of autumn.

With love ♥

August 2017

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As August begins, we are starting to become used to the changes we developed in our routine within the past months. This is the month where many begin to embrace a new attitude for themselves, a pleasant and a happy one as the end of summer draws near. During this month, I like to reflect on my summer and how I’ve changed.

I believe I have changed for the better this summer. As I reflect, I realize that I have found a purpose within myself, and that is to help others. This summer has been one of self growth–physically, mentally, and spiritually. This is due to the amount of love I started showing myself.

I always feared this time of the year because it meant that school was going to start soon. Which meant forgoing my happiness. Because at school, I never felt like I could be myself. In fact, I didn’t know who I could be. As a result, I was embedded with uncertainty, which I despised because I am a very strong-willed person. I am a creative person, and I felt like school was a box that was meant to contain me. I was afraid of losing my authenticity, and much of the time I isolated myself and used short-term escapes to compensate for the emptiness I felt. I never felt accepted for who I was, and I felt like I had to become “whiter” in order to feel embraced.

This summer, I’ve become even more unapologetic than ever. And it’s starting to show as I become more beautiful outside. I am currently in a very happy relationship with a man who accepts me for who I am. He is a man who shares my culture, but who also knows what it’s like to be afraid of changing oneself to appease others. My friends are the same way. They understand that life is about getting up, and we have been consistently motivating each other to get up every time we fall down.

I’ve noticed that the best medicine for me has been encouragement. Positivity is a great strength that is severely underrated because we are scared inside. We are scared because we want to be perfect. But as I’ve noticed my own changes over the years, I am far from perfect. But the point isn’t to be perfect. The point is to progress. History has shown us that we are rational, brilliant, yet imperfect beings. To compensate for that, we constantly create to better the world. I’ve learned that people either view the world as an inescapable curse, or as something that can be changed to be beautiful. This is largely due to social constructs that perpetually divide us with age-old, traditional thinking, largely pervasive in cultures worldwide.

However, there is hope. We are constantly progressing. We need to learn to stop living solely for ourselves and learn to live as a community, as an ummah for my Muslim readers. I have learned that progressing starts with myself and accepting myself for my flaws and for my differences. By doing this, I become certain with myself. And then I can help people become certain with themselves as well.

My mission  is to give back to the world by promoting identity through stories, through art, and through creativity. I have learned that passion is power, and I want to express that through this blog. I hope TUM will help you accept your own differences, and I hope I can be here as a friend for you.

Above all, I’m grateful for this summer. And I’m ready to be me.

With love ♥